Very infrequent, very unnecessary ... but still!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Luxury at what cost!

Recently, India bought Embraer Luxury Jets (5 jets cost a whopping Rs 727 crore) for the use of VVIPs. Read the article here.

Who bears the cost of these luxuries which these politicians enjoy? You and me! And all the other tax-payers. We keep giving one-third of our hard earned money back to the government year on year. And what does the government do with that money? No, it
is not used to make good roads for us... No, it is not used to create employment for the needy... it is used to fill the fat (and hollow, perhaps) pockets of these politicians... it goes to make them fly in luxury.

All we can do is to pray and hope that the roads would become drivable... petrol prices would not go up any further. That's it! We can do nothing more than that. With the way these things are going, pretty soon we would have to stop driving our own vehicles, while these @#$@#%& politicians will zoom away in these luxury jets...


Monday, September 19, 2005

Conception of Salaam Namaste ...

How they came up with this movie:
Aditya Chopra (producer): ...But you know it gotta be new.
Siddharth Anand (director): Lets see what we can do? How about a new location?
A: Oh yes! In the past movies, We've been to London, new york, LA.. how about Melbourne this time?
S: Fantastic! and we can have a couple of beach songs there, you know thats the latest trend these days.
A: OK Lets talk about the story. I've an idea, lets do a different kind of romantic movie.
S: What different?
A: How about if we make a modern day love story, girl and boy both living outside India. That way we can also capture those NRI sentiments you know?
S: Whoa whoa! But that we have already seen in so many other movies lately. Need to add something more to it.
A: How about if the boy and the girl live together?
S: Live-in relationships? Indian audience will never accept that.
A: Ha! They are going' to jump on it, it will be a fresh story, wholly new idea, you know. Boy and girl stay together, fall in love, have sex, and then the girl becomes pregnant.
S: You are talking about "nine-months"?
A: whatever! how many in India have watched nine months? forget it. people are just going to love the idea.
S: OK so the story is finalized. What about the music?
A: Yeh, we need one or two dance item numbers, one wedding song?
S: why a wedding song?
A: You don't understand! its that superstition thing!
S: OK OK! But how are we going to have dance numbers when the heroine is pregnant?
A: Don't worry! Audience won't care. They come only to see the dance and songs. Nobody gives a damn even if she dances while giving birth to her baby.
A: I've got this gut feeling, in last movie remember, people loved the comedy. We have to have that in this movie too.
S: But its a serious movie. How can it have comedy?
A: Then arrange some part time TV actor. You know those anchors, they can speak so much on the spot you don't even need to worry about writing dialogs for them.
S: Thats fine. How about the cast?
A: Lets see, Preity is hot these day. See if we get dates from Preity, else go for Rani. Male actor, I don't think Shahrukh is that good after Swades. and Aamir, just don't approach him, he'll demand the god-damn script first.
S: Then how about Saif.
A: He'll do. Anything else?
S: We'll see that on the sets. Lets start working on it.


Thursday, September 15, 2005

Do Your Math ...


Monday, September 05, 2005

Revenge of the "TeleMarketed"

The phone rang as I was sitting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, "Is this Karl Brummer?" Not sounding anything like my name, I asked, "Who is calling?" The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that. Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally, and why was he calling this number. I then said off to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood," and then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.
I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy, and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and that the police were entering the building to take him into custody.
At that point I heard the telephone receiver fall, and the scurrying ofthe telemarketer's feet as he was running away.
As I returned to the dinner table, my wife asked me why I had tears streaming down my face, and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but after what I had pulled, it was the best meal I'd had in a long, long time...


Friday, September 02, 2005

Selling Bibles (seriously Funny)

Came across this good, clean joke in a long time. Enjoy ....

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles.While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each To raise the desperately needed money for the church.Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.The minister knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles.But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway.He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles.He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make out selling our bibles last Week?"Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church.""Fine job, Peter!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church last week?"Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied," I Am A professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, And here's $280 I collected."The minister responded, " That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?"Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The reverend opened it and counted the contents."What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?Louie just nodded.
That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could.""Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh -sh-sh-sure," he stammered.Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!""A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"


Thursday, September 01, 2005

iPod with Yin-Yang

At GW's request ... Here it is - iPod with Yin-Yang

- Done in Photoshop


Only In Bangalore

This can happen only in Bangalore